How serious are you about him?

My heart skips a beat...I read an email from Linda, "Can you check with your insurance company and make sure they would cover the surgeries for the little guy with a cleft lip and palate. How serious are you about him?"

I'm on the phone with my insurance company in 5 minutes. Yes, they would cover.

I call Linda. Apparently, there is just one family reviewing...if they decline, we would have a chance.

I hold out a little bit of hope, but it still looks pretty unlikely.

Mommy goes back to North Carolina, but this time she can't take me cause I'm over two. I miss her so much, but at least she gets to see my cousins Casey and Cody!

First glance...

I arrived in Winston-Salem for a business trip yesterday. I check my email and a note from Linda at the adoption agency "Vietnam Update". Among other news I read, 'In addition to the waiting children mentioned in the update there is also a 6 month old, adorable little boy, with a cleft lip and palate.'

Oh wow...I think. That would be incredible. We had told CHI that we would be interested in adopting a "waiting child", meaning a child who has a medical condition. I know that cleft palate and lip is pretty correctable. But I'm not sure how Mike will feel. I don't want to do anything without his 100% support. So I pray, "Lord, if this little boy is supposed to be with us, please work in Mike's heart to agree."

I run to Wal*Mart during my lunch break and quickly dial Mike. "Oh, by the way, Linda says there is a 6 month old boy with cleft lip and palate."

To my amazement, Mike responds immediately enthusiastically, "Well, if this is the child God has for us, we can deal with the cleft part."

My heart races. For the first time, I feel like we may be close to having another baby. But my excitement is short lived.

I email Linda once I get back to my computer. "I just spoke with Mike. We're very interested in finding out more about the little boy with cleft lip/palate."

I receive an email back saying that there are three families that have already expressed interest. My heart sinks. I notice that his picture has finally been posted. He is sure adorable. Lots of hair. Beautiful chubby features. Wow.

But I dismiss the possibility. Certainly with so many families ahead of us, we'll never be given a chance to adopt him.

Hey you!

And now with Mommy and Aunt Katie.

My handsome grandpa celebrates his birthday with my Dad and "Uncle StevenSeahawk"

Caleb turns two...

Caleb's birthday is a lot of fun...but the adoption still nags at my heart each day.

I had hoped to have another baby before Caleb was 2 1/2 (the same age I was when Katie was born), but that looks unlikely.

I'm really struggling. This is really a walk of faith, because I have no control and at this point, nothing makes sense. I've promised to wait until Christmas, but I find myself worrying about what we will decide to do then.

However, I find myself really convicted as well. We say we believe a lot of things, but sometimes, for all of us, we are really tested whether or not we believe them. My test...Do I really believe that God is in control of this adoption process? Do I really think that I have the right to call the shots, or am I really submitted to God's best...and willing to wait for it to be manifested in due time.

I think about Mike's and my committment to wait till Christmas. So I finally submit my heart and truly believe that somehow, in some way, God will reveal to us more of His plan by then. Who knows, maybe we'll get a referral next week? Wouldn't that be wishful thinking? Like Sarah, I laugh in my heart...could God really do that?

Can you say "What a birthday cake!?!

Ba Noi and Ong Noi are among the many family and friends who come to celebrate!

Got my J.Deere hat, tool belt, and tshirt...time to fix something!

John Deere party...all the way! From the doormat to the tractor window decals, to the banner, plates, napkins, and cups!

Colty and Katie help us get ready...

I'm TWO! Getting ready for the big P-A-R-T-Y!

I love to draw. Can't do too much in the way of recognizable objects, but I love to ask others to draw a horse, truck, face, etc. for me. And I finally realized that crayons are to draw with, not eat!

And in case anyone thinks I'm Picasso for drawing a truck at the age of two, no, one of my parents drew it for me. Mommy says that since the artistic skills of both her and Daddy can often be mistaken for a 2 year old's kinda indicates that I won't be Picasso.